Figments of my imagination...

Title is some song lyrics.

My ex-husband decided to teach me self-defence at one point. He told me to hold out my hands, and then grabbed my wrists tight. I dissociated to a young part who cried out, trying to get away. But he held on until I stopped struggling.
 
I can't get the images out of my mind.
 
All he wanted to do was break me. He succeeded.

I feel so dirty and disgusting... someone complimented on how good I looked since losing weight, and it freaked me out. I can't handle it... I want to disappear.

Do what others want and expect, so all is fine. Don't forget to play the game. Be what they want, when they want - substitute therapist, flirt, librarian, joker, ... whatever they want.

Easily dismissed.
Fade away from memories.
Disposable.
Gone.

Once a whore, you're nothing more